Thursday, March 25, 2010

The more life changes, the more it stays the same

I heard today California once more is going to vote on the legalization of marijuana. And the climate is more welcoming now, because the state is broke. Sales tax on legal marijuana would be a welcome new source of revenue. The complications of doing this and making it work are myriad.

Who raises and sells it? Certainly, unlike tomatoes, squash and avocados, we don't want it imported from Mexico. In fact, the marijuana businesses in Mexico are called cartels, and are probably going to sneer and say, "we don't want your stinkin' peanuts for our stuff. We got our own rate schedule and delivery system." So. what agency oversees growth, quality, strength, etc.? Who oversees manufacture, packaging, and distribution? A newsman on the radio joked this morning that he could see the convenience store chains offering a real deal--one price for a 20-oz. drink, bag of chips, and bag of weed. "Yeah, his colleague joked." Now that's a real happy meal."

Strength is an issure. I don't know if you can breed back to the comparatively innocuous weed of the 1960s compared to the stuff available today. Do we want "light", regular, and fortified weed?
I mean, commercially. In California.

Quality of life is an issue, especially in California. You probably don't want a pig farm next door. From what I have read, you probably don't want more than 20-30 marijuana plants, either. They stink.

Now, chickens stink, too. It takes some effort to keep the chicken poop spread out in the beds and lawn. My son and his wife have solved this with a portable coop they trundle around the yard. No stink, but yummy eggs, and potential meat. And contented chickens sort of sing. They cackle when they lay. They are company.

Frankly, I think legalizing marijuana, even in California, is highly unlikely. Akin, in fact, to paramutual racetrack betting and casinos in Texas. And frankly, there are some good reasons for doing neither in both states.

In addition to actual factual considerations, there's Tradition: The Way We Have Always Done It (in our memory, anyway).

We are getting a lot of change these days we have no control over (just this morning, I found my busy computer had Updated, requiring me unwillingly to close out of files, close down and reboot. I didn't want to do this. I didn't have time. But I had to. And if I want a computer and internet, this is part of the system.) We all want change that goes our way, but not change that alters our behavior--unless maybe enlarged spending habits. We have Attitudes: the way I do it is Right; the way you do it is Wrong.

I have to say one thing about life these days--in the last couple of years, it sure has gotten interesting.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

On the death of a friend

Funny how you know--and you don't know.

Last week I saw John in the Health Center, and he had a cold. He was on oxygen, and about 15 minutes into our visit, a technician came in to give him a breathing treatment.

"I'll see you later," I promised.

Well, other life events have been pressing, I told myself. I didn't get back until yesterday. To find a hospice chaplain there. John, 99, was asleep, almost waxy. The chaplain left and I sat awhile, but I didn't talk. I wish I had! But I sat with him awhile. I left a note, as I always do when he is asleep, so he will know I came,and a piece of dark chocolate, his favorite.

Yesterday was beautiful. High in the 70's, pear and wild plum blooming, fluffy clouds in a blue sky, japonica and daffodils blooming. Often, when I come, I insist on opening the blinds to let him see a beautiful day. I didn't yesterday. It seemed useless.

It was.

Today, I went over in the morning and walked to his room. I noticed yesterday he had a cross on his door, decoated by a school child and signed with her name. I looked at the decal on the center and read, "Hallelujah! He is risen!" and I knew. It was there yesterday,and he was there, but I knew. I looked around and saw another on another room. So only on the hospice rooms. And I knew.

I opened the door, and there was a pristine bed, with no personal artifacts. His clothes were still in the closet. Nothing else. An empty bed.

I went back down to the nurses' station, and two were there. They aren't there often, they are usually with the patients. They give not only professional care, but human caring. But they were there.

"John?" I asked. "he's gone?"

And knowing the answer, I began to cry.

Four o'clock this morning, they said.

I wanted to say, "But I didn't say goodbye!"

And that hurts.

When we met, July 3, 2008, I knew it would be a fairly short friendship, and if MY life was good, this day would come. And it has. I know his family is sad. His son came every day, and other family members frequently. He had only a few friends left. He outlived most of them. He had a remarkable life.

We laughed, and joked, and argued and discussed about three hours a week. Until recently, he had hubris, and vitality. He impacted my life.

I will miss him more than I thought I would. Today, I mourn. I cry. And who wants to die without one friend weeping? I am that friend.

Someday, I hope I am good enough that some friend weeps for me.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Caring for the Next Generation

This has been haunting me, so might as well write.

A couple of weeks ago,my granddaughters and I went into the local dollar store after the older's game ( which was awesome, she blocked five saves by the other side and...)

There was a couple ahead of us, with a child about 4 or 5. She had on a coat with a hood. Never saw her face. She had a rope around her back, attached to a cardboard sign in front of her.

Having come from a sports game, I assumed her sign was a yea team for someone.
So I asked her what her sign said. She didn't answer or turn around. No worry. Lots of young kids are like that.

Being a busybody, I reached for the cardboard and read the sign. And stood in shock.
It read," KEEP AN EYE ON ME. I STEAL FROM PEOPLE." I was speechless.

I looked up at a man I assume was her father, and an upset woman I assume was her mother.

He said they had tried everything, and this was the last thing they could think of.
He said she had taken things from Kroger's three times.

The little girl kept her head down. They paid, and his hand was somewhat affectionately on her shoulder when they left.

The checker commented, "Nothing illegal about what he did."

There were murmers of agreement and incoherent sounds. We were discombobulated.

What went on? was this a child who couldn't control her like for candy in the store?
What else had the parents tried? Were they the parents? was this a scam so that they could steal while eyes were on the kid?

I'll never know. It felt genuine. And I wondered what they had tried. Parenting skills aren't taught, valued, or acknowledged. If you are lucky enough to be born into a healthy family, you have the skill. If not, LOL. What do I do with a culture I belong to that doesn't value parenting?

I can try to spend time with kids, and try to give them boundaries and imagination.
It's all I can think to do.

It sure is fun.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Droning on about the Weather

Everywhere I have gone the last couple of days, I hear people talking about the snow to come. The foot-plus everyone got almost two weeks ago is a factor.A few shady lawns still have patches despite temps in the 40s.

Today, Dallas and Fort Worth are getting an inch or two. People are excited about this because if it hits 2 inches, it will set a record for snowiest winter. And it is snowing. Further south, the snow is heavier.

But I am slightly north, and not a snowflake has fallen. I'm minorly disappointed, partly pleased. Lows in the 20s overnight with no moisture means no icy roads, Good. It rained Sunday, and the landscape is already dotted with puddles that have grown into semi-permanent ponds. It is an interesting problem. I wonder what the aftereffects will be, besides less local produce and many more mosquitoes.

Two years ago, we had a drought so severe outside, watering was almost forbidden. Texas continues to have hundreds of people moving in daily. Add that to less water, and public officials all but banned outside watering. The ban on watering between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. remains in effect. Public outrage last summer when some miscreant blatantly watered midday was similar to public outrage if a smoker lights up in a smoke-free restaurant.

The H1N1 flu scare last fall seems to have dwindled, but it is pleasant now always finding soap dispensers in public bathrooms well-filled. Using hand sanitizer regularly seems to be a new cultural custom. In a mall last week, I saw a store with spa products displaying a basket of cleanser-moisturizer samples for public use. My friend pounced on it and was greatly pleased.

Humans are adaptible. We are proud of ourselves for that. Nowadays, we tend to be shocked when nature is bigger than we are. And it is. But we maneuver. We adapt. We change some of our behaviors.

Having lived in this area for decades, I hadn't realized how long it had been since a cold winter in North Texas. I talked to a man yesterday who moved here in 1994 and said he never remembers sustained cold weather here. Hmm. That means December in 1983 was the one when temperatures rose above 32 degrees only a few days. Like today, that also was an El Nino year. Not much moisture, though.

In the winter of 1977-78, I remember commuting to work when it snowed-or sleeted-every Wednesday for five weeks. On the sixth, it snowed 9 inches on Friday. Curltural reaction? The next fall, we had much warmer clothing in the stores than are usually available down here. I think the cities bought a lot more sand for the trucks, too. Probably didn't use it up for several years.

Areas where snow is usually plentiful are having near drought this winter. Other places are having record amounts. Aberration or pattern change? We'll have to wait and see.And we'll have to wait more than a year or two.

(sigh) there's so much more. Weather really is important. Resurces--and people--really are finite.

I suspect average citizens in third world countries understand this quite well without the science involved. The average citizen here is still an innocent.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Huevos Rancheros-regional comfort food

So. It is four days since the record-breaking 12-inch-plus snowfall. There are still pockets, especially carcasses of melting snowmen and snowwomen on the yards all over the Metroplex.

During the snow days, I fixed one of my favorite, easy-peasy comfort foods. It occurs to me some of you don't know about it.

Huevos Rancheros
For each person, take two tortillas. To me, that automatically means corn, but I realize there are people who even make enchiladas with flour tortillas.(shudder)

Same instructions apply.
Put a tablespoon or so of oil in a frying pan and heat to frying temperature. Put in a tortilla, corn or flour, and heat until it puffs a little. Flip. Toast until sligntly crispy. Drain on a paper towel. Do another. Overlap the tortillas.

Coat with your favorite pecante. Top with cheese. Yeah, white cheese is more authentic, but I usually use shredded cheddar. Stick in the microwave for a minute to melt while you add a little more oil and fry two eggs. Pull out plate with tortillas, pecante and melted cheese, and top with hot fried eggs (I like the yolks thick and liquid, and I blot the grease on these, too.) Top with a light sprinkling of more cheese, maybe a dash of cumin, And maybe a dollop more of picante.

If you have fresh cilantro, I usually don't, they are even better.

If you are feeding a family, stick finished plates in oven set on warm until all are done. Eat.

Oh, you can heat up a can or two of pinto beans and add on the side. The egg dish is enough to leave me full and happy for about 3-4 hours.

Yes, this is breakfast, but can be eaten for lunch or supper.

See? Easy-peasy. Fresh flour tortillas should puff just like fresh corn. Corn are more delicious, in my world, and a lot less calories. More fiber.

Do as you wish. It's fast, easy, and delicious.

Took very little time from watching the snow fall.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Exhibiting Privacy in Public

I have two friends who frequently send me chain e-mails--pictures, or funny statements, or incredibly sentimental stuff with the caveat to send it on. Today I got one with pictures I would have sent except for the instructions at the bottom.

So I sighed and deleted.

I get chainmails asking me to sign petitions--and occasionally one is a cause I really support. That means I write individually and send snail. I have three stores I like well enough to give my e address to. I didn't know that meant they were going to send me weekly sales notices, naive on my part. I can cancel them, but I really like these stores, so I usually glance at what's offered before I delete. Sooner or later, they may prompt me to buy something.

If I don't buy stuff from unsolicited phone calls, why would I follow the instructions of some anonymous stranger who started something on the Internet?

When I was a news reporter 30 years ago--before instant everything, no time to check the facts before putting it out there, I was sometimes given stories to write where I had to ask very intrusive questions of people probably during their personal crisis. We didn't hound much in those days, and as I asked the questions, often I was thinking,"Please tell me to mind my own business." I've often wondered if my personal reticence made a difference, or if it is just the nature of crises, but I can't remember anyone ever refusing to answer fully with good quotes which I wrote up faithfully. At least I was accurate.

When I worked for Child Protective Services again I was intruding on private lives, this time with official clout to effect change. The parents and I talked about what these changes needed to be. Given an opportunity for input, they sometimes suggested efforts I wouldn't have thought of. I came monthly, even weekly at times to see what was going on in the home. I had multiple written and verbal contacts with therapists, parenting teachers, homemakers (a surprising number knew nothing about cooking, which can drastically affect the budget), even landlords. Parole officers.

Here's the thing. People can be as eccentric and individualistic as they wish until evidence is found that because of some part of that different lifestyle, their children are at risk. Believe me, a lot of uncorrected neglect goes on, and emotional abuse, because it isn't illegal. Or maybe it is just impossible to prove in court. So folks who dealt with me had a history and/or had done something so far over the line I was assigned. I began by telling them they were going to be held to community standards. Most of them were pretty aware of what those were, the standards just seemed too hard or too much trouble. We sat down together and agreed what had to change. I wrote it up, along with what I had to do to help them, and we all signed it.

Here's the thing. I was nosy about what went on that might be dangerous to the children. I didn't interfere with their privacy in other areas. If cleanliness wasn't an issue, I never saw most of the house. If drugs were an issue, they were getting tested regularly anyway. I tried to intrude on their privacy to the extent it was necessary. Sometimes, that was pretty nearly everything. Often, it wasn't.

It surprises me with my own beliefs and behavior, that I have worked at these two jobs. I value privacy, prize it, even. I cannot think of a single person in my current life who knows exactly what I am doing or thinking, including my family. And I try to return the favor. I see a lot of them, but there is a lot I don't know and don't need to, and vice versa. I think this mutual respect and privacy makes for a good mix.

To invoke privacy for myself and others, I think involves self-respect and respect for others. If somebody frustrates me, that may just be my problem. Maybe I am the one having a bad day.

Oh yeah. I can lose it. But someone a long time agotold me,"If you are righteously angry, never say something you have to apologize for later."
It's good advice. When I ignore it and have to apologize later, I remember it and think, "well there's my refresher lesson."

And there are the two or three I can tell most anything to. ANYTHING. So again, in moments of crisis, I don't have to blab my business to perfect strangers. Another good use for friendship.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Dallas-Fort Worth has historic Snowfall

It's official.

An historic snowfall. Dallas-Fort Worth recorded 12.5 inches. Or more. Haslet, a small North Texas town, officially recorded 14.2 inches. The single snowfall makes this the third snowiest winter in recorded history. Hundreds of thousands have power outages.

ALL the schools are closed. Most probably had Valentine parties planned today. Power outages mean closed businesses, too. Just heard a man with no power at home bemoaning his search for miles to someplace with power and hot coffee. He's driving on black ice to find it. Your heart hurts for him, doesn't it?

Along about next August, this will be a fine day to remember.

NBA convention in Dallas this weekend. Good luck with that.