Tuesday, June 11, 2013

When the River Isn't Smooth

Maybe one reason I love to sing is the harmony we create. I love it.

Today I had conversation and bit my tongue again and again, and still contributed to noise. Not so loud, but unpleasant. And I was the dissonance. And I could shut up, but I couldn't come back into harmony.

I was not a good luncheon guest today.

I knew what I should do, but didn't. At the time, it seemed I couldn't.

Ever have a day like that?

No, I'm not giving myself an "everyone does it" pass.

For one, not everyone is disagreeable as I have been today. And if they were, not everyone cared they were doing it. I do and did care, and I'm sorry.

I just think I have much company in conversations many of us wish had gone differently with a friend, someone we loved. But it didn't. Because of us and what we said or didn't.

The good news is, tomorrow is another day, and we get to start over.

I have already apologized to the two friends I felt I shorted. They ended up appreciating the calls, much as they both tried to say at the outset they hadn't noticed.

Civilization is a wonderful thing, when joined with the heart.


clairz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
clairz said...

Let me try commenting again, but with better spelling...

I do not want to be a grumpy old lady, but I fear that it might just sneak up on me. Just in case, I find myself in the same position as you - tidying up and apologizing after a conversation that, in retrospect, wasn't all I wanted it to be. My friends also pretend that they don't know what I'm talking about. Maybe I don't and I'm making up the whole thing, or maybe (blessedly) they have old people's faulty memories.

I used to be moving way too fast to have time to think about things like this!