I have never been a violent person. It is not my nature to hit or hurt except in self defense. I am beginning to understand how radicals feel when they shoot or kill innocent persons. AND IF YOU READ THIS FAR AND THERE ARE NO PARAGRAPHS, i DON'T KNOW WHY. THEY ARE HERE IN MY DRAFT.
Because really, there is no one person or few agents to blame. I am typing on my new blog format with no idea if it will ever see daylight. I feel as if I am being shoved into a cave.
Windows 7 is proving horrific to use. Google keeps changing. Facebook is changing and now this. Today I had to sign in a new way to access my emails. I seem to have more problems with the technology than most. I try. I do try very hard.
I have signed up for more computer classes. I have been using a computer for oh, 40 years, but always in job-specific ways. I keep finding it harder to get to my very simple stuff.
I don't believe taking off my shoes makes me safer in the airport. I don't believe I am really more protected with all these test words in a visual script very difficult for a woman with sight problems. I think I have access as I type, but who knows?
It is not my age. I was talking to a man in his 80s today who cannot believe the problems I have with the computer. He uses it ably.
It isn't my intelligence. I am above average,not a genius, but have a master's degree if no higher.
And every freaking time I learn how to function at the current level, the designers raise the bar. And most of you can follow. I'm not sure how much further I can go.
I don't know how, any more, to function without the internet. My email, Facebook, my blog, my documents, googling a word or name....and increasingly, I am finding it harder to access. I was commenting today to someone that using a tool should not require a lot of memory to access. Increasingly it is so. I should be able to use the tool easily to do my work. Do you have to think 100 steps to slice a tomato? Yet I find I am spending more and more time learning how to use the tool, and remember how, before doing the most simple things.
It is so. For many, it is easy. For me, very hard. but it is so. This machine is an important part of my life. I cannot yet just let it go. Sometime I may have to. I may be shoved out altogether. I wonder how many of us there are? Statistically, not enough to change behavior to access the bottom line.
I will adapt. I will adjust. I will go Neanderthal and abandon my computer if all else fails. I hope that doesn't appen because that, more than anything, would redefine who I am. I can't vote for the purveyors,, not that it makes any difference now anyway. I can't go to the competitor, assuming there is one. To Google? Hollow laughter.
I can take more classes. Perservere. Or just....give up. I won't do that.
Why do I write this? I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm more likely to get a hard pat on the head and suggestions for macrame, which I can't do either. I guess I just want to be heard. That I do try hard, and others do too. That we are of some intelligence, but for whatever reason find this difficult.
For me, I think, it is sequential reasoning. Very picky. I had fits learning to pay at the pump for gas. You absolutely cannot put the hose in the gas tank until you have finished the card transaction, yet I would forget, over and over, and put the hose in, then go to the slot for the card, then have to put the hose back, then process IN SEQUENCE and pay.
I bet not one reader can sympathize with that. As I say, sympathy is not the goal. I do hope, however, with our handicapped parking, curb access, telephone lines for the deaf, we add something fo the technologically challenged, and I am not joking here.
A cohesive world should be inclusive. Currently, it seems it is leaving more and more of us outside.