A string of pearls

I have two stories to tell, both about women who, at 17 and in love or in the beginnings of it, told a lie. Both went on to marry the man of their dreams, and both lived with them until the men died many years later. They both grieved deeply.

The first was two years younger than the boy, and they had grown up in the same neighborhood. He went away to college. The next fall, as he walked to class, he beheld a smiling beauty walking towards him. She seemed vaguely familiar, but he didn't know who she was until she said hello and he heard her voice. Wow! where had that skinny, harum scarum young girl gone to? She was now lovely, poised and smiling at him, flirting. He flirted right back.

They chatted briefly, then he said he had to get to class.

She said,"Oh, what class are you taking?"

He told her what it was. Economics, I think.

"What a coincidence!" she exclaimed. "That's my class, too."

So they walked together to class, sat hear each other, and the next day, she changed her schedule to include the class on economics. Did well in it, too. They hit it off. They fell in love. The following year, when she was 18 and he was 20, they married. Under Texas law, a woman of 18 didn't need parental permission. The same law, regarding men of 20, said men did need permission, which he received.

They were married more than 60 years, and had an adventurous life with their brood of children. They lived all over the world. They truly were partners.

And it was years into the marriage when she finally confessed to him that she hadn't been signed up for that course at all.

The second woman also was two years younger. She met the man she would marry her senior year in high school. He went away to college.

In her case, her parents had intended to send her to a different college than the one he was attending. So she researched school catalogues and hit upon a major that only was offered at the school he was attending. It was actually a pretty good fit for her, but she had not planned on that particular field. She told her parents that was what she planned to do, and they paid to send her there.

So she went to the school where he was attending, they dated, and after two years, were married. They settled in Texas and reared their children there. When the children were in school, she completed her degree in the field she told her parents that she wanted so much she had to go to his school. The lie she had told had taken her down the path to a degree in that field. So she finished her degree. And it was work she enjoyed.

It worked out all right. She went on to write a book that was published in her field. When illness took her husband prematurely, she missed him for years and has finally gone on with her life. She still is immersed in parts of her profession that still give her pleasure. After all, maybe she would have chosen it anyway.

I don't know if she ever told her husband or her parents. I do know that she has always tried to deliver what was expected of her. I think she takes a certain pleasure, even joy, in remembering the lie she told that led to marriage to the boy she was determined to have, the future she seized for herself.

I think the lies were different, and the repercussions were different. Certainly, the people were. The times were.

I cannot conceive of wanting to marry so soon. I couldn't then. I wanted to live on my own awhile before I married, and so I did. I don't personally relate.

Lies have repercussions, good or bad, for years afterwards, and in these two cases, probably for generations.

I know both of these women, their families. I have my own thoughts about the two lies. Are they the same? are they different? Do you like one more than the other? Both gave the woman an honest chance to build a relationship with the man.

And yet.

Nice Day in the Life

Gracie and Brody were playing chase in the house today, and the rugs are all askew. Both came laughing up to me, panting and with tongues lolling, for scratches and petting. It is, after all, their little treat after moments of merriment, that I enjoy them so much I can't resist the petting.

I am glad they are happy. They don't see other people often, and that, as much as my poor training, is part of the reason they rush to newcomers and leap up on them. I can change their training and begin the walking I've always said I will do, but I don't feel I can change the solitude. My home has few visitors.

The dogs are such wonderful company in the evenings, when I sit down with a book or a television show if I can find one, and just share the time. They are constantly moving, demanding attention from time to time, and adding their aliveness to my own.

When we all went out on the porch to enjoy the super moon, though, I realized that my life is full of friendships, like beautiful beads on the string of time. I was somewhat frustrated earlier with a call from a friend from high school years, because she had continued to work during our call, and I could not always hear her well. Still, she had been on my mind lately, and I hadn't called her, so I am glad she did.

My fiftieth high school reunion revived friendships with two women I have known since elementary school. We email back and forth, and occasionally facebook. There are a couple more. Two friends from college, both former roommates. We try to get together for lunch every year. I had three professions in my working life, and have friends from each place. We email and get together once in awhile, as well. Some family friends. Most, however, are many miles away.

What has astonished me about a couple of the childhood friends is that they have grown up to share--over 60 years--many of the same interests I have. Well, I have a lot of interests. But wherever they are, however their lives have gone, somehow, we have popped out with the same concerns about environment, love of books, history, and in some cases, art and music. How did that happen? We were just girls who climbed trees together and rode bicycles and...never played baby dolls together, swooned over rock stars, or even considered skipping college. Huh. I guess we start picking through the threads of who we will become earlier than I thought.

That stuff isn't just phases we go through. It is picking the colors of life we like that will shade the life we have when we are grown. Some of us lead disparate lives that end with such similar thoughts and interests that I am amazed. We do change over time. Events, time itself can forge large differences. Somehow, though, I have ended up with these few childhood friends who have grown up in harmony with me

The friends of my life come from every age and aspect of my life. Some are almost as old as I am. I hope some new friendships will develop,also. I am too young to be stagnant. I am into the difficult years, when friends die or drop away due to dementia,or move away, often to be closer to their children. So they are scattered.

As I write, the dogs have given up on me. They always do when I sit down here to write, but they were hopeful when I went to get a yogurt and a banana. Food was present,now consumed, and they don't like bananas, anyway. And I ain't sharin' the yogurt.

Today is beautiful and hot, with a cold front and possible rain tomorrow. Hopefully, neighborhood cats will not be screeching around 2 am in the morning again, triggering wild barking from under my bed where the dogs sleep nights. I'm tired today. I don't do parties, but I have a couple of interesting meetings today. Neighbor Matt is getting his roof repaired from the March hailstorm. Dogs quietened down quickly when the hammering started early this morning, since every roof on the block, including mine, has been replaced.

A friend is having surgery today, another had surgery two weeks ago, and another has surgery planned next week. Standard fare for 70s and 80s. Parts wear out. On the other hand, the engine light on my car may have been due to insufficient tightening of the gas cap lid last time I gassed up. Car is getting older, too, but no maintenance today.

Yep. A good day.